He's Pregnant (Nov. 23 edition)

Four and a half months down, and just as many to go. We’re half way there. I’m just not entirely sure where “there” is. With the initial shock and amazement of the whole thing wearing off, I’ve begun to ponder what this really means.
Learning to change a diaper is one thing, but teaching someone the entire English language is quite another. Am I going to be able to deal with the sleep deprivation that comes with a newborn? And what if this baby grows up to be that screaming toddler everyone hates in the grocery store?
I was watching an episode of A Baby Story with my wife (I never thought it would happen to me) and as the mother gave birth, the doctor pulled out what appeared at first glance to be a human baby. But as he turned it towards the camera, I realized it was an alien with a massive cone-shaped noggin.
Noticing the fear this put in my heart, my wife gave me an article to read that explains a number of strange physical features babies can be born with. At least now I’m prepared. If I wasn’t, and my child came out looking like something from Star Trek, I’d probably be on the first bus to Mexico.
In the third month we had the first big event since the positive Clearblu. We heard the heartbeat. It was as interesting as it was amazing. As the doctor moved the Doppler around my wife’s stomach it sounded like waves of water, and then we heard a distinct little beat. ‘It’s really in there,’ I thought to myself. It was fantastic; our first bonding moment with this little soul we helped create. I grabbed hold of my emotions, pulled myself together and breathed a sigh of relief.
With the pregnancy moving along rather quickly, we’ve started pricing out the essential equipment needed for raising a child. I never really thought I’d spend a Saturday looking at cribs and playpens but I’ve become quite passionate about it. I found that my main area of expertise is strollers. We’d like to get a travel-system, which is parent talk for an all-in-one carseat and stroller. I’ve learned to inspect not just the colors and size of the buggies, but the structure and durability. Can this stroller keep my child safe while I’m taking it for a rocky hike in Waterton? I don’t hike, but that’s not the point.
Apparently a good stroller costs more than four tickets to a Calgary Flames game; with good seats. But I suppose it’s worth the price if our baby is safe and stylin’.
Overall the second trimester is going along very well. My wife felt the baby move for the first time while we were at the theatre on the weekend. I’m not sure how appropriate it was considering we were watching Lord of War, a movie about the mass-sale of guns to third-world countries.
With just over four months left, each week is going by faster than the last. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to keep learning, and that no matter what shows up on delivery day, it was worth nine months of preparation.